-Aliens do exist. They're just waiting for Chuck Norris to die before they attack.
-In a fight between Batman and Darth Vader, the winner would be Chuck Norris.
-Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
-If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
-The following is a short list of things Chuck Norris cannot do:
-Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.
-Some kids piss their name in the snow. Chuck Norris can piss his name into concrete.
-Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
-Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
-Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
-Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.
-There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.
-Chuck Norris IS RIGHT BEHIND YOU.
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