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2/23/2009
-Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris
-Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants
-When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down
-Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush
-Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship
-For most people, home is where the heart is. For Chuck Norris, home is where he stores his collection of human skulls
-When Chuck Norris does division, there are no remainders
-Chuck Norris can blow bubbles with beef jerky
-Chuck Norris never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself out of fear
-Chuck Norris uses 8'x10' sheets of plywood as toilet paper
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